Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Some days....

Sigh. So I felt really achy last night and I woke up today with a bit of a cough and a stuffy nose. This is on top of my gums being silly and an allergic reaction that will not go away. I was miserable. I was scheduled to see the nurse anyway - the blood tests say its a dust mite allergy. But that still begs the question of why the anti histamines aren't really working well. Could it be a form of eczema? Could it be a fungal infection? Who knows. Certainly not the nurse. She basically doomed me to a life of constant cleaning and asked me if I could take up the carpet in my bedroom and put down lino. I asked her for a hormone imbalance test and she said there isn't one and it wouldn't do much good. I came out of the office wanting to cry.

When I spoke to Jules about it she asked if it could be mental. I think it is getting worse with stress but I don't think that is the root cause. So my question to myself is, what is going on? What do I need?

Well, all of this is coming at the same time because I need to slow down and rest. Ok. When I feel into it I think the rash is because of an imbalance inside of me. So what have I learned? That it's easy for me to panic and want to give up....when all I really need is a hug and someone to listen to me. I also need to listen to me too. So yes, I'll go back to the doctor and I'll go to the dermatologist, but maybe while I'm waiting for that appointment I'll rest, give myself some space, go for some alternatives and see what they say. Most of all though I'll tune in more and see what my deeper, wise self has to say about it too and then act on that intuition. Because as much as I trust experts, this is an opportunity for me to trust myself too.

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